Suspicion and distrust are cancers of intimate relationships: they eat away at the foundations of even the strongest bonds. If you’ve noticed some changes in your partner’s behavior that lead you to think they might be unfaithful, tread carefully and consider the whole picture. Do you typically feel insecure and a bit jealous, or is this something really new and different? Simply flirting with others, especially if it’s done where you can see it, is not a sign of infidelity. Flirting is usually just a sign of healthy humanity, unless it is done in a cruel and continuous manner. The signs of real infidelity go much deeper. Indications that a partner is cheating reflect the important changes that happen under the spell of infatuation, which is a very powerful potion indeed. Here are some signs to look for:
- The inability to look the other partner in the eye for more than a few seconds. If the two partners were able to hold each other’s gaze at the start of the relationship, then they should be able to do the same down the road. If one of the partners has something to hide, then that partner will usually find it very hard to look at the other in the eye due to the subconscious/conscious fear of being discovered.
- Sudden changes in computer use as the other partner approaches. Instant messaging has allowed people to conduct private and sometimes passionate communication between individuals without alerting those around them to the missives. However, in the heat of sending amorous IMs, a partner can miss the approaching sounds of their mate, forcing them to rapidly close whatever message windows they had open.
- Significantly increased bathing/showering, use of deodorant, perfumes or colognes. One
cannot get intimate without changing one’s natural aroma. Although most people try to be as sweet smelling as possible at the start of an intimate relationship, the efforts drop off after a while. A partner that is cheating on an intimate level not only wants to present an attractive scent to the new object of lust but also wants to hide the aroma of new passion from their current partner.
- A sudden increase in the desire to have sex. Contrary to what you might think, new intimate relationships can reignite the passion in the other intimate relationships. A sudden up-tick in lovemaking, while fulfilling and reaffirming, can mean that another element has been added to the reaction.